I printed out the ebook Eladio gave me today, "No More Mr.Nice Guy".
After finished the 1st chaper, I was a little bit depress because I found that I WAS A NICE GUY.
When I start an intimate relationship, I always put tremendous emphasis on this part.
And as the book said, I was struggled and frustrated in it.
"The working paradigm of the Nice Guy is this:
@ IF I can hide my flaws and become what I think others want me to be
@ THEN I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life."
I think to know my capability is quite important.
The Mr.Nice Guys always wants to do something for people, even the behavior itself kills them.
But they don't want to spend their time doing things which makes them happy.
They need to be loved, but they ignore their own requirement.
But no to be Mr.Nice Guy doesn't mean that I have to do everything in opposite way, that will only create a Jerk.
There must be some rules for me to follow, and the rule must be the integration of "my own values" and "the world's values".
I should be sensitive to the world, not only the girl.
ps. There is an interesting question here:
"Why would it seem rational for a person to try to eliminate or hide certain things about himself and try to become something different unless there was a significant compelling reason for him to do so? Why do people try to change who they really are?"
「為什麼人們總認為消除或隱藏某部份的自己，讓那部份變得完全不同這件事，是代表理性呢？ 為什麼人們總是要改變自己原有的樣貌呢？」
